Oh dear Jean, please be very careful with the snake - he hates being disturbed during the hibernation season, and is quite likely to do you a mischief.

You can see the tray when we get together for your unveiling. By the way, the illumination you "borrowed" from Blackpool - you didn`t tell us it had the Tower ballroom wurlitzer attached, I had to find that out from the BBC.

You are right to keep the mulled wine out of reach of Eleanor and Lynn - all the more for the rest of us. For goodness sake, don`t let Lynn pack any scissors either.

Did Doreen tell you she has a new ski-outfit? She dropped a hint that she has dancing penguins on it - bit old-fashioned I thought.

Kathleen x

Kathleen, I'll have you know my ski outfit is the very latest in high fashion!

I agree we should have a pre christmas party. How about Stringfellows? Or Blackpool, we always seem to have a good time there.
Perhaps I should look after the mulled wine though, after what happened the last time you "looked after" it Jean.

Penguins! Doreen, I am most upset. We have enough with that darned snake never mind penguins! Jenni, keep the red boots: you may need them for future problems. Jean, I am sure that my friend Lyn and I are most offended at the suggestion that we drank all of the medicinal fluids that you all provided. If memory serves me well (and I am sure that Lyn will agree) Amanda, Barbara Mary, Kathleen and (especially) Doreen had the lions share! Poor Julie had none as she climbed up that church steeple and got caught on thon weather vane.

Lyn dear, no offence, but the word was not happy and snappy was the way I felt after the hair cut. However, the hat I had to wear when it was growing out is now high fashion so I will be wearing it with my 'costume' from TK Max no less on our night out.

Dear Jean, it is so nice to see your post. It cheered me up no end. Just a word of warning, no bathing in the fountains this weekend as I would like a sophisticated night out for a change. I could not endure another night in the London Dungeons!

Thinking of widdy and cheryl cole...

Yellow long johns on a 5 ft 6 twig?

I've been giving this a great deal of thought and am wondering, as the festive season is almost upon us, whether we should charter a flight to Lapland. I have always wanted to meet the REAL santa. I say "charter" a flight, as I am quite sure no-one would let us onto a scheduled flight again. The memory of Eleanor, in her Minnie-ha ha costume over a pair of thermal long johns, being escorted off the plane singing "When I'm calling you..ooo..oooo" to a bottle of brown ale, is forever etched in my memory. There will have to be one or two rules:

1. Suzanne, Lorna and Ailsa must promise not to invite the band of the Coldstream Guards again. We had such a kerfuffle with all those busby's last time and I certainly don't want to spend another two hours pulling Suzanne out of that poor man's tuba.

2. Lyn must be frisked for scissors prior to entering the plane. We simply cannot risk letting her getting too close to Santa when she has a pair secreted about her person - and heaven alone knows what she would do to the Elves' pom-poms. It doesn't bear thinking about.

3. Julie must be strapped into a safety harness at all times when on board the plane. She has no-where to climb inside the plane and we don't want to risk another wing-walking episode. The poor pilot is still on light duties and is swallowing handfuls of valium daily.

4. The wooden whacker must be taken off Jenni-she caused thousands of pounds worth of damage to Stringfellows and the ensuing court-case caused us all a lot of grief. I'm also very concerned that the three feather boas will get caught up in Kathleen's snake and it will turn very nasty.

5. We need to take a blanket or tarpaulin to chuck over Doreen - I have a feeling that the outfit will be very distasteful indeed.

Please feel free to add to this list.

I agree with all the rules except number 5.

I have never, ever, worn a distasteful outfit and the one I will wear to Lapland is very tasteful indeed, you will be surprised.

I think we should stick to the original plan of partying on the Golden Mile tomorrow night and then have a trip to Lapland afterwards.

Right - Golden Mile it is then. In case you have forgotten, Kathleen, Julie M has the Blackpool Fire Station number tatooed on her left....arm! You're right about the Busby's Lorna. They WILL keep us warm - especially if they have a Coldstream Guard inside them as well!

I have decided to wear the gold lame rubber diving suit as we just don't know how cold it will be and if Jenni shoves me off the pier again, I could suffer nasty and lasting damage without it. I shall remove the goggles when we visit The Ladyboys and Fru Fru's.

I have to say I don' think we should have invited Lorna along, but please keep this to yourselves. Her striped wellies sound amazing and even her offer to lend me a feather boa doesn't stop the jealousy.

Can't wait to see Doreen's tacky outfit - all baubles, candles and bells

Thank heaven's it's not London. I am never going near trafalgar square again when there's a tree up.....

I'm so glad that Doreen's outfit has received so many comments after she commented on mine on FB. I have a lovely new black number with orange and yellow silk attached to it. When the wind blows up my frock - it looks like I'm on fire. Doreen has implied that this might not be as tasteful as you ladies normally dress (lol). I think she is just jealous because she knows I will attract more firemen.

What beverages are we taking along this time ladies? Do we need the supermarket trolley again? I've got some Cherry B's and Babyshams I found under the stairs when I was clearing out so I'll bring them.

Lovely to see you back Jean

Julie xx

I was going to ask if you have got the wheeled commode decked out for the event Jean.


Just make sure Jenni doesn't hog it all night again.

It will be great to get the gold stilletos out , I've got some 8 inch ones that I haven't worn yet.
We'll just have to see about Julie's outfit, sounds a bit tarty to me.

I'm off to make a start on the polyfilla now.

The wheeled commode with the 'go faster' stripes is always handy Jean. As for the eaterie, I don't see that they shouldn't serve us. When I told them I had been bent double with botulism because of their whelks it was true. Getting the supermarket trolley's wonkey wheel oiled as we speak (spraying WD40 on my knees while I'm at it). Doreen's keeping her outifit under wraps isn't she. I wonder what she's up to.....................

By the way Lyn, it's lovely to see you posting too. Hope you are feeling better and the night out is right on your doorstep so you have no excuse for not coming.

Julie xx